


Lay me down

by Sarmaren



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:20:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22190053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarmaren/pseuds/Sarmaren
Summary: The story of Puck and Santana. Completely AU with some real plot from Glee. Oh and a little smut.
Relationships: Santana Lopez/Noah Puckerman
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Lay me down

The first time Puck actually talked to Santana Lopez was outside the principal’s office when he was twelve. They had both gotten in trouble, completely different kind of trouble but still, and Puck was waiting for his mom to pick him up when Santana walked in with one of the teachers in tow. Her arms were crossed across her chest and a scowl appeared on her face as she took a seat next to him on the old dusty couch.  
  
"Stay here until the principal is ready for you." The old lady said before leaving the two of them alone.  
  
Santana looked down at her nails and tapped her foot, barely acknowledging that Puck was there.  
  
They sat in silence, a silence that made Puck a little uneasy because despite being the badass that he was, he knew Santana was one too and he was pretty sure that she would kick his ass if needed. The continued silence stretched until he couldn't handle it anymore.  
  
"Hey." He nodded in her direction and earned an eye roll in return.  
  
Silence once again took over and it made Puck's skin itch. Deciding that he rather force a conversation than sit completely quiet he turned to her.  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"Nothing bad." She didn't look up from her nails, they were painted black. "Just got some gum in Berry's hair, she might have to cut it off. She needed a haircut anyways."  
  
Since that day they were inseparable.

  
  
It was the summer before they started high school when Puck had managed to steal a package of cigarettes from his dad (it was the first time he'd seen his dad since he left) and he shared them with Santana behind a car down the street from his house. It was a lot of coughing and nausea in the beginning and it wasn't until the end of the day when they both had smoked five cigarettes each and went for a bike ride that Puck could take a puff without wanting to throw up. They were hiding in the park behind a huge tree, Santana took a long drag and smoke came out of her nose as well as her mouth and her eyes widened.  
  
"This is pretty awesome." She was so pretty when she smiled that Puck couldn't help but kiss her. It was his first kiss and the taste of strawberry lip gloss and smoke would stay with him forever. After a couple of seconds Santana pushed him away and told him not to do that again, but she couldn't hide the lingering smile.  
  
So yeah, smoking and kissing sort of became a habit after that.

  
  
They both started high school at McKinley High, because really, Lima was a tiny shit town with like two high schools. Puck shaved his head, making the hawk his signature. Santana shook her head when she saw him and told him he looked like an idiot. He didn't listen, his hawk was fucking awesome.  
  
She kissed him to shut him up when he started to argue with her.

  
  
It didn't take long before Santana was walking around in a Cheerios uniform and Puck wore his letterman jacket with pride. When he first saw her in her uniform he couldn't help but stare a little. Yeah Santana was his bro (that he sometimes kissed), and most of the time she looked the part but she suddenly had boobs, and like, really nice legs so staring a bit was cool, right?

  
  
They lost the first (and second, and third, and every game after that) game but that didn't stop someone from the team from throwing a party. Santana showed up with Brittany and Quinn, like usual when she wasn't with him. She hugged him and whispered that he sucked on the field and Puck handed her the first beer she'd ever had.  
  
A few hours later Puck saw her dancing really, _really_ close to Matt Rutherford with his hands securely on her hips. Puck thought she could do better but hey, if she wanted to score why not with one of the only few descent guys in their year?  
  
Later when Puck was outside smoking, Santana stumbled out and he couldn't help but laugh at her.  
  
"You alright Lopez?" He handed her his cigarette without hesitation as she steadied herself against the wall of the house.  
  
"I'm fucking fantastic." She grinned before accepting the butt. "Oh and that girl Celeste wants to sleep with you." Santana leaned her back against the wall as she kept smirking at him.  
  
"Which one's Celeste?" Puck mimicked her actions against the railing, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"The one that keeps falling." She handed him the cigarette back when Matt suddenly showed up beside her, his arm moving around her shoulders.  
  
"Anyways, I'll see you later Puck." She winked at him before dragging Matt in to the darkness of the backyard, away from prying eyes.  
  
Puck didn't remember much else from that night, he lost his v-card to Celeste and the whole experience was sort of awkward but one thing stuck, sex was awesome.  
  
Celeste fell down from the pyramid a week later and ended up with a neck brace for the rest of their high school years.  
  


  
Santana started to sort of dating Matt and she told Puck that she had slept with him a couple of weeks later while playing video games at her house. She told him that she didn't like it and Puck didn't really know what to say because he thought sex was basically the best thing ever, (almost as good as Santana's lips) so instead he just shrugged and kept playing until he lost against her. Again.  
  


  
The first time Puck saw Santana dance, and he meant really dance, he was sure that his heart stopped for a second. Sure he had seen her dance at parties and practice routines with the Cheerios but one night, when he was climbing up the tree outside her window he heard music. It wasn't the usual pop that blared through the speakers, instead it was a song sung sensually in Spanish and Puck was instantly intrigued.  
  
When he was able to reach the window, that's when he saw her. Santana was dressed in a simple tank and her Cheerios shorts as her body moved to the music. Puck could tell that she was singing along but couldn't make out her voice through the window. He watched her dance, her hips swinging and body twisting and turning as she moved to the music effortlessly.  
  
Puck didn't know why, but the way she seemed so lost in her own world got to him and he couldn't not watch her. It wasn't until Santana saw him staring at her through the window that she stopped.  
  
"What are you doing, creep?" She was panting slightly as she opened the window. "You scared me."  
  
"Sorry." He muttered as he climbed through the window. They both knew he wasn't sorry at all.

  
  
Something else Puck knew was that Maribel Lopez hated him, both her parents did actually. They thought he was a bad influence and when they caught Santana stumbling home one night with Puck helping her up the stairs, they said that Santana couldn't see him anymore.  
  
Santana didn't give a flying fuck. She told him a couple of days later while they were chilling in Pucks bedroom.  
  
"They just don't get it." Santana sighed and ran her hand through her thick hair. That was the first time Puck wanted to say he loved her.

  
  
Puck had a similar fight with his mom when she found his pack of cigarettes and Santana's bright pink lighter in the pocket of his jacket.  
  
Puck called Santana over to hang the next day.

  
  
It was was January, which was the month Brittany turned 15. She had the house to herself that same weekend, her parents being nowhere in sight and she had a huge party.  
  
Santana came with Quinn and Puck was already there. But unlike the other girls that showed up with wine coolers, Santana showed up with tequila and Puck couldn't not high five her. He took his first shot ever and almost choked on the liquor, Santana on the other hand only poured them two more shots and called him a pussy before downing the second shot.  
  
It turns out that tequila makes Santana horny.  
  
Puck found that out while he was talking to Finn on the couch and suddenly Santana was straddling his lap and pulled on his hawk so she could kiss him. It was sloppy and wet and really, really great. But she was wearing a short dress and they had an audience that were either huffing (Quinn) or howling and clapping (Azimio) so Puck decided that they should move. He had no idea how they ended up in Brittany's parents bed but he was kissing down her neck to her collarbone and she was whimpering a little.  
  
When Puck moved up on his knees to remove his shirt and unbuckle his belt, Santana reached around him and grabbed his wallet from his jean pocked before fishing out the condom she knew was there with a grin. It was a mess of clothes flying and tongues tangling but the image of Santana naked on top of him was something he would never ever forget. She looked like a goddess, her caramel skin smooth and a little bit shiny from sweat, her chest heaving from her panting and her eyes so dark they looked as black as her hair as she stared down at him.  
  
"You're sure right?" She asked and for a fleeting second Puck wondered if maybe he should have been the one asking that, but Santana wasn't the kind of girl to do anything she didn't want to and certainly wouldn't do anything out of obligation or because she felt pressured in to it. So instead Puck only nodded before catching her lips in another kiss. She was rolling on the condom before he even had time to think and then she was lifting herself up and his cock was slowly surrounded by the tightest heat he'd ever felt.  
  
"San." He couldn't help but groan against her swollen lips.  
  
"You're much bigger than I thought you would be." Santana's voice was a little strained and Puck couldn't help the confident smirk that appeared but then also remembered what she had said about sex a few months ago so he took charge. He rolled them around, gently hiking her legs high around his waist and kissed down her throat, he didn't move until he felt her body relax slightly under his own.  
  
Puck stroked and kissed the skin he could reach until his hand trailed down her side and then after a little fumbling he found her clit. He had never been so happy to have had cougars teaching him about the female sex. Santana immediately whimpered and not long after that she was moving her hips up against his.  
  
"Holy shit," She moaned as her nails dug in to his shoulder and back "faster." He didn't waste a minute and smoothly started thrusting harder, his hips slamming in to her own, the rhythmic sound of skin slapping against skin matching the base from downstairs.  
  
"You're so tight." Puck usually took pride in his stamina, he was the Puckasourous after all, and since losing his virginity he had basically banged everything in sight, but this was Santana, his best friend, moaning and whimpering in Spanish underneath him as her already tight walls were starting to spasm harder and harder around him and Puck knew that he would fall off the edge soon.  
  
"You gonna come Tana?" He mumbled against her lips before ducking down and pulled one of her hard nipples in his mouth.  
  
"Yeah, don't stop." Her lithe body was straining and arching into his touch as her heels dug in to his ass to get him even deeper inside of her. "Puck, I'm gonna..." She didn't have time to finish her sentence before her orgasm suddenly ripped through her and she moaned so loud Puck was sure that they could be heard from outside the door. He kept fucking her through her orgasm, drawing it out for as long as he could before he felt his balls tightening and he shoot in to the condom with a deep groan.  
  
Afterwards when Puck had pulled out and they laid side by side in bed Santana raised an eyebrow as she faced him.  
  
"We're definitely doing that again."

  
Puck only grinned back before reaching for the packet of cigarettes he knew Santana had in her purse.

  
  
A couple of weeks later Santana told him that she was taking birth control and as long as he wrapped it up with other chicks, he could fuck her raw.  
  
So fucking everywhere they could also became a habit after that. It was just as awesome as he would have thought.  
  


  
The first time Puck actually said that he loved Santana, they were both drunk and high and Santana had her head in Pucks lap.  
  
"I love you Tana." He played with her hair as he looked up at the night sky wondering why it felt like he was up there with them. It was words he rarely said and words he knew Santana _never_ said but the words just kind of slipped out.  
  
Santana giggled and reached out to smack his chest but there was no power behind it.  
  
"Shut up," she murmured and then turned her body so she was facing his jean clad groin. Apparently weed also made her horny.  
  
Puck smirked as he felt her skillful fingers popping the button, his words already forgotten as Santana's full lips wrapped around his half hard dick. He raised his hips to help Santana get his pants down further so she could suck his cock the way he knew she wanted. Once they were below his ass Puck buried one hand in her hair, massaging her scalp and groaning when he felt Santana moaning around his cock.  
  
Santana licked and sucked on his cockhead, feeling Pucks meat hardening with each stroke of her hand and each lick by her tongue until his hard dick stood proudly and she had to lift herself up with one arm to be able to suck him off properly. She forced more and more of his cock down her throat, only stopping once he hit the back of her throat and she felt herself almost gagging. She's had a lot to drink and she didn't want to risk getting sick all over her friend. She let her tongue slide against his shaft as she hollowed out her cheeks.  
  
"Fuck baby." Puck groaned as his fingers tightened their grip. Santana was easily the best at giving blowjobs, and each time she went down on him, Puck only seemed to enjoy them more.  
  
Santana smirked around his dick before giving him one last lick and then moved down to his balls. She sucked one of his heavy balls into her mouth as she kept jerking his cock with her hand, the spit helping in aiding her movements. She tickled his sack with the tip of her tongue before sucking a little harder on one before moving to the other.  
  
"Yeah shit San," Puck could already feel his orgasm hitting him way faster than normal "you're gonna make me come already baby."  
  
Santana quickly let go of his heavy balls with a wet pop and took him back in her mouth, just in time to taste Pucks cum shooting on to her waiting tongue.  
  
Puck came with a strangled moan as he kept shooting thick white spurts of cum and Santana eagerly swallowed it all down. She kept sucking until he was spent and then fell back in his lap like nothing happened.  
  
"I'm hungry." She said after a couple of minutes, feeling the munchies kick in.

  
  
The rest of their freshmen year stayed pretty much the same. Their system was working flawlessly, they banged, hung out, partied and even though they hadn't put a label on it (they still slept with other people after all) Puck would call Santana his girl.  
  
But something slowly shifted between them and he could catch Santana's eye drifting more and more towards Brittany and in the beginning he didn't think much of it. But as the weeks went by and Santana seemed just a little more distant each day, Puck slowly figured it out. Santana was in love with a girl.  
  
He never said anything, and neither did she. Puck figured that she would tell him once she was ready. But one night when he was over and they had just finished a fucking marathon, Santana was in the shower and Puck was bored so he turned on her computer and the first thing he saw was lesbian porn videos and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He was too busy watching a brunette going down on a blonde to notice that Santana had come out of the shower.  
  
"What the fuck are you doing?" She screeched the second she saw what was on her laptop and she hurriedly closed the computer.  
  
"I- I was just bored." Puck hadn't seen Santana this mad at him in a long time.  
  
"So you decided to look through my stuff?!" She huffed as she wrapped the towel tighter around her body.  
  
"I opened you lap top and the porn was right fucking there!" Puck raised his voice as he spoke "It's not like I went through your search history!"  
  
"Keep your fucking voice down!" Santana looked around, like somehow the walls had ears and would tell her family. "Just..." her expression changed from furious to what Puck could only described as scared. It was a look Puck never wanted to see on her face again.  
  
"Hey, it's okay." He put a hand on her shoulder "I kinda already figured," when Santana's eyes widened, he quickly continued "I just meant that the way you are with Brittany, I notice it. But I don't think anybody else does."  
  
Santana didn't say anything for a long time, but after a while she shrugged his hand of her shoulder and whispered.  
  
"Don't tell anyone, okay?"  
  
He didn't.

  
  
The whole thing with Brittany didn't last long though, the blonde wanted Santana but she also wanted every other hot boy and girl and right before school started again after the summer, Santana had enough and decided that they should stay friends.  
  
Santana came to him after and told him everything. She cried, which Puck had only seen happen a few times, and usually she only cried because she was drunk. He held her and kissed the top of her head until she was asleep against him. When she stirred a few hours later Puck was still right there and she looked at him with something he didn't really recognized but he knew was something good.

“Why don’t you say it? Have you ever said to someone?” Puck asks her one day as they’re eating breakfast.

“Say what?” Santana asks besides bites of cereal. She’s only wearing his shirt and panties she looks so fucking hot that Puck wants to fuck her on the kitchen table.

“You know, the L word.”

“The L word, what are you twelve?” She chuckles but when Puck doesn’t look away, she sighs, her mood suddenly much more serious.

“They’re just words,” She finally says but she doesn’t meet his eye “You can tell someone you love them but still hurt them and expect it to be okay.”

Puck doesn’t know what to say to that, so he stays quiet.  
  


  
The first day of their Sophomore year Puck accidentally bumped into Quinn and she immediately starts to bitch him out. Normally Puck would have just walked away, finding the uptight blonde more annoying than anything else. But since Santana had been busy with cheer camp and Brittany for most of the summer and the cougars he usually banged had been on vacations Puck hadn't gotten laid as often as he was used to (which wasn't saying much because when he and Santana fucked, they usually got it on at least twice a day).  
  
Anyways, Quinn's bitching fell on deaf ears and Puck did what he usually does and smirked, said something on the verge of too dirty and walked away.

  
  
So the thing with Quinn happens. And then a few weeks later he found out she was pregnant and his whole world felt like it was falling apart.  
  
It was almost three in the morning when Puck found himself climbing the tree outside Santana's window. He knew she was awake, the light was on in her room.  
  
Ever since her parents separated a couple of weeks earlier, Santana had trouble sleeping.  
  
Puck knocked lightly on her window and Santana, being so used to his random visits didn't even bat an eyelash, she opened the window and got right back in to bed, knowing fully that Puck would be joining her.  
  
He stripped down to his boxers and laid down beside her.  
  
"Quinn's pregnant." Before Santana even had time to answer he continued "It's mine."  
  
Neither spoke for a couple of minutes, Puck knew that she would need some time to digest the bomb he just dropped on her.  
  
"You're such an idiot."  
  
Puck winced at her words and then it was quiet again.  
  
"You'll be okay." She finally spoke after another few moments "If she keeps it, you'll be a great dad, and if not, then you'll still be okay."  
  
Puck wasn't sure if he believed her.  
  
"I love you San."  
  
"No you don't, Puckerman." Santana sounded sad, but she didn't let go of him all night.

  
  
Shit pretty much got even worse from there. Finn finds out and they fight, Quinn doesn't want him in the baby's life, Santana seems to be completely done with dick as she hooks up with different girls in nearby towns. They still hang out, but Santana seems less than interested in taking a ride on the Puckasaurous and he doesn't really know why.  
  
What he does know is that Santana stayed with him through thick and thin and even though he knew that Santana wasn't like anyone else, there were times when he could would be painfully reminded of that fact. Like when she was sleeping next to him or when he caught her laughing at something down the hall. Besides his unborn child, Santana was his everything.   
  
Then, his baby daughter is born and Puck can't for the life of him believe that he was a part of making something so perfect.

  
  
Santana holds him the night he cries after they gave Beth away.

  
  
Summer comes and goes and by the time they start their Junior year, Puck finally starts feeling like himself again. But the whole thing with Quinn and his more than complicated feelings for Santana got him thinking that maybe a girlfriend wasn't the worst thing in the world.  
  
He starts dating Lauren Zizes but it ended just as quickly as it began. Santana just snorted as he told her that they were done. He didn't catch the smile on her face right after though.

  
  
All of a sudden Sam joins glee and starts dating Quinn, which wouldn't have bothered Puck until the boy breaks it off with Quinn and later that week sits in _Pucks_ seat, with Santana’s legs over his own. Puck glares but doesn't say anything as he takes a seat in the back. He tries to ignore the lump that feels like burning iron in his stomach.

  
  
It's been two weeks and Santana is for real dating Sam. The girl hadn't dated a boy since Matt their freshman year and Puck just doesn't get it. He thought Santana was done with boys.  
  
It's another two weeks until he decides that he can't take it anymore and asks her.  
  
"So you and Angelina, that's for real or what?" They're lounging in Pucks living room, watching bad tv.  
  
"His name is Sam." Santana sighed but doesn't take her eyes off the television.  
  
"That wasn't an answer." He won't acknowledge her correction.  
  
Santana is quiet for a few seconds before turning her body to face him.  
  
"Yeah it's real." The small smile on her lips doesn't go unnoticed by Puck. "I like him."  
  
"But he's a guy!" The words are out before his brain has a chance to stop them and he immediately knows that he just made a mistake.  
  
"Excuse me?" Santana scowled as her eyes darkened just slightly.  
  
"I, I just though you only fucked girls now." His own voice was getting a little rougher.  
  
"When did I ever say that I was done with guys?!" Santana stood from the couch so she could tower over him.  
  
"Oh come on Tana, the porn, Brittany, you haven't fucked me since last spring." He stood up too, just a little too close to her.  
  
"Oh and what? I'm gay because I'm not fucking you?" Santana pushed him, making him back up a couple of steps.  
  
"You wanted girls!" He wanted to shake Santana because she didn't get it. If she was going to date a dude, why wouldn't it be him?  
  
"You got Quinn pregnant!" He could see that she was surprised by her own words, like she wasn't expecting them.  
  
Everything stopped, and they just stared at each other, chests heaving and air thick.  
  
"San..." he took her hand gently. "I love you."  
  
"Well don't!" Santana snatched her hand away like she's been burnt, and then turned around, leaving Puck alone with nothing but the sound of Santana closing the front door.

  
  
They don't speak for almost a month and it's the loneliest time of Pucks life. He was so used to always have Santana that when she was gone he found that he didn't really feel like himself.  
  
Then, late one night Puck was driving around aimlessly and somehow found himself on Santana's street. As he passed the house he could see Santana hanging out of her bedroom window, a cigarette in hand. He stopped the car and as he looked up at her he had a fleeting thought that this was like a scene out of a rom-com. The kind of movie he hated.  
  
"Puck, what are you doing here?" Her voice was like a breath of fresh air.  
  
"I'm coming up." He climbed the tree easily and when he was in the warmth and light of Santana room he didn't waste a second and closed the distance between them, hugging her close.  
  
"Let go of me." There was no venom in her voice as she pushed him lightly.  
  
Puck wanted to say that he'd never let her go, but it was way to cheesy for a dude like him and instead he sat down on her bed, leaning back on his hands.  
  
"So how are ya?"  
  
"Sam and I broke up." Anybody else would have thought that she was fine, but Puck could hear the slight crack in her voice and he knew she was upset.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Because he wanted Quinn too, just like you." She leant against her desk, the cigarette forgotten in the ashtray on her window seal.  
  
"I only wanted her one night." He could tell that she didn't believe him. "I wanted her because I thought I had to; she was carrying my baby." He didn't ask why she cared, knew that it was a mistake right now.  
  
Santana stared at him, she looked tired, exhausted even. Instead of continuing the discussion she walked towards him. She kissed his cheek and then crawled in to bed, making enough room for him.  
  
"I haven't slept in a while, come join me."  
  
Once he had gotten undressed and pressed himself against her, Santana was asleep within minutes.  
  
  


Things get back to normal after that. They hang, party but don't have sex and Puck realizes that he can't keep going back and forth with Santana like this. So he starts dating a girl. Her name is Jennifer and she's hot, like seriously hot. And sweet to him which Puck wasn't really used to. She posts cute pictures of them online that Puck would have hated for anybody to see, she listens as he rants about Finn and the sex is awesome. Totally, freaking, awesome.  
  
"This is for real San," he tells her as Santana sits beside him on his bed, painting her toenails.  
  
"Right," she scoffs "like with Zizes?"  
  
Puck glares at her but doesn't say anything, instead he watches as the girl beside him finished with her nail polish. It's a deep red that looks really sexy on her, but he won't let her know that.  
  
"I think I love her." He tells her instead, because he doesn't lie to Santana and he really does think that.  
  
"Oh please, you barely know her." She laughs and it sounds so condescending that Puck has to move away from her.  
  
"Whatever Lopez." He mumbles and reaches for the remote and turning on the tv. He ignores Santana's glances until it's time for her to head home. 

Things with Jennifer are great, almost perfect, so it’s only a matter of time before something comes and crushes it.

“She’s moving.” Puck grunts it out to Santana as she’s playing on her phone and Puck is getting high in her room.

“Yeah?” Her disinterest couldn’t be more obvious and Puck gets even more irritated than he already is. Santana had been extra bitchy since Puck told her he might love Jennifer.

“Yeah, to fucking Florida of all places. Like, isn’t there only old people there?”

Santana actually snorts at that and looks up at him. She sees his face, can tell that he’s really upset and she doesn’t have the heart to break him even more. Instead she gets up and stands next to him, takes a long drag from the joint and breaths out slowly, the smoke surrounding them before disappearing.

“I’m sorry Puck.” She kisses him softly and somehow Puck knows it’s going to be okay.

Summer comes too soon and then Puck watches as Jennifer and her parents drive off the first day of summer vacation and it sucks. But he’s Noah fucking Puckerman and after getting into a few drunken fights, gets slapped by Santana for being a jerk and sleeping with a couple of college girls, he gets back to normal.

Something happens with Santana the summer between Junior and Senior year, like she seriously can’t keep her hands off him all of a sudden. It’s like freshman year all over again and Puck is not stupid enough to ask about it. They hang almost every day, fucking everywhere they can and some places they shouldn’t but do anyways. Like in a park behind the tree they used to climb when they were younger, or in Brittany’s family pool when all the Glee kids get together for a barbeque.

It’s awesome and Puck’s definitely not complaining, but he can’t help the weird feeling he gets every time Santana leaves him for the night. He knew what the feeling was, but he didn’t want to think about it too much.

Then it’s senior year and apparently, he has to actually start thinking about his future. He talks about moving to LA with Finn but he’s too whipped to say no to Rachel and New York, but that doesn’t stop Puck. Los Angeles seemed like the perfect fit for him.

He talks about the future a lot with Santana, what he wants, his dreams, and slowly she starts pushing him away again. The girl was giving him serious whiplash.

He knows her well though, probably better than he knows himself and he knows that she’s protecting herself. Santana won’t be going to Los Angeles, she only applied to schools in New York.

Puck felt like hitting something when he realized that Santana was going to NYU and he’d be heading of to UCLA.

“Why can’t you come to LA? You got good grades.” He whines as they’re stretched out on Santana’s bed.

“I want to go to New York.” It’s a simple answer but it’s enough for Puck to stay quiet. Santana had never been very vocal about it, especially compared to Rachel and Kurt, but New York had been her dream for years as well, and Puck knew that.

“I just don’t know how I’ll manage day to day without your ugly mug.”

At that, Puck chuckles and pinches her side.

He honestly doesn’t know how he’ll manage without her either.

Graduation comes faster than he wants, and summer goes by even faster and before he knows it, he’s at the airport about to see Santana off.  
  
"I love you." He wipes the single tear away from her cheek.  
  
"I know." She smiles at him, it's a sad smile but a smile nonetheless and Puck would take just about anything right now.

He couldn’t believe that he didn’t know when they’d see each other again.

“We have Skype and our phones, right?” Santana tries to sound reassured because she knew, just like Puck did that they probably wouldn’t keep in touch like they wanted.

“Yeah. One call a week.” He doesn’t say he promise, he doesn’t dare.

She kisses him softly before she leaves, her lips lingering against his for a little too long and Puck forced himself not to ask her to stay.

College is a whole new world. A world he loves. He actually puts in the work in his classes and he enjoys the LA weather, the new people he meets, and he especially enjoys the girls. They’re hot and experienced and down for pretty much everything and pretty soon his old life in Lima seems like a dream.

He texts Santana every day, and the days he doesn’t text her, she texts him. But as things get more hectic in school they talk less, just like Puck knew they would. He missed his best friend like crazy, but it seemed like they never caught each other at a good time and before he knew it, it had been weeks without contact.

Puck goes home for thanksgiving though, excited to see his mom and sister, his excitement dies the moment he heard from Finn that Santana was staying in New York.

“I think she was going to spend the weekend with her new girlfriend or something.” Finn shrugs as they’re driving towards Puck’s house.

“Oh… right.” He doesn’t want to know anymore than that and tries to ignore the lump in his stomach and instead decides that he’s happy for his best friend.

After dinner with his mom and sister he decides to call her, not really expecting her to pick up, but then she did.

“Puckerman, long time no talk.” He can hear the smirk in her voice and loud voices in the background, like she was out at a bar or something.

“You decided to stay in New York huh?” He sat down on the edge of his old bed with the phone pressed firmly do his ear.

“Yeah, Dani, my uh…” Santana stops talking for a moment but quickly continued “my girlfriend, doesn’t really keep in touch with her family, and I didn’t want to leave her alone.”

“Yeah I get that.” He didn’t, actually. If it was up to Puck, she’d be right next to him right now.

“I’m happy you called.” She tells him and Puck feels that lump in his stomach again. “We really need to talk more, we suck.”

“You suck, at least you used to.” He teases and he can hear her chuckle on the other end.

“And you know I’m the best at it.” She teases right back and Puck doesn’t argue with her. It’s true.

“Sorry, I got to get back. But I’ll be back in Lima for Christmas, will you?”

Puck hadn’t really thought about it. His family doesn’t really celebrate Christmas being Jewish and all.

“I think so, not sure yet.”

“I’ll call you in a couple of days and we can talk about it, okay?” 

“Yeah sounds good, bye Tana.”

He goes back to LA a few days later, and things quickly get crazy with school and a part time job. He doesn’t call Santana back when he sees a couple of missed calls from her. He doesn’t really know why.

Puck does go back for Christmas though, after Finn practically nagged him to death about it. It’s snowing and cold and Puck actually really loves winter so it’s not that bad.

Almost everybody from Glee is back in town and Rachel decides to get them all together at her place since her dads are away. It feels like Junior year all over again, they’re in the basement, music blaring and Rachel singing and Puck is getting drunk.

Then Santana shows up. She’s wearing a deep green dress and her hair is up in a ponytail and Puck has to stop himself from running up to her. Just looking at her feels like fresh air.

Santana grins at him as she walks down the stairs and then hugs him so tight that it hurts and Puck groans.

“Missed me Lopez?” He smirks and he fully expects Santana to say something rude but instead she nods.

“I really fucking did.”

They dance, get drunk and it’s like going back in time. Before Puck knows it Santana drags him away from the rest and kisses him. She tastes like tequila and _Santana_ and Puck hums approvingly against her full lips.

“What about your girlfriend?” He doesn’t really care, but he wants to know that she doesn’t either.

“We broke up.” She doesn’t sound sad so Puck doesn’t ask if she’s okay, instead he drags her with him until they reach Rachel’s old bedroom.

“She’ll kill us.” Santana says against his lips as she’s trying to get his belt undone without breaking contact.

“It’s the most action this room has even seen, it’s fine.” He mumbles back as he drags the zipper of her dress down before he removed the offending garment. She’s not wearing a bra, only a black thong and Puck can’t help but stare. He’s never seen her look so fucking delicious and he wants to taste every single inch of her.

“You’re staring.” Santana smirks as she finally gets his belt undone, followed by the button of his jeans and she pulls them down.

“You’re so fucking hot.” Puck groans as he pulls her against him again, this time moving them toward the bed while getting the rest of their clothes off. They land on the bed naked and tangled and Santana laughs as his forehead knocks against hers a little harder than he meant.

“Spread your legs.” That gets her to stop laughing and instead moan as Puck starts kissing down her throat, only stopping briefly to kiss her and then again to play with her nipples. Her tan skin is smooth and she smells familiar and the memories are almost too much.

Puck groans as he’s finally between her legs, she’s already wet and he grins as she moans when he licks her clit softly.

“Tease.” Santana pants above him after he does it again just as slowly, but instead of waiting for his response, she grabs his hair and pulls him to her.

Puck doesn’t need any more encouragement and instead goes straight to work. He starts by licking through her a few times, gathering her wetness on his tongue and moaning at the taste. Santana still holds on to his hair, her nails scratching his scalp and it feels really good.

He dips his tongue inside of her a few times, effectively fucking her with it and he’s pretty sure that the sounds Santana is making would be heard if someone passed the room. Puck always loved how loud Santana could be, and how little she cared when she was chasing an orgasm.

Puck switched his tongue for two fingers and instead sucked her clit in to his mouth, and just like he knew, Santana’s thighs trapped his head between them as her back arched. He grinned against her wet snatch but didn’t stop toying with her clit until Santana was shaking uncontrollably and pulled his hair so hard he was afraid she’d rip it out as she came with his name mumbling from her lips.

Puck continued to lap at her clit even as her body relaxed and Santana only shook from aftershocks.

“Puck… too much.” She whimpered when his teeth dragged against the sensitive nub.

“You’re just so fucking delicious.” Puck said, his voice darker than usual as he climbed back up and kissed her, forcing Santana to taste herself on his tongue and lips.

“See?” He asked after pulling back and Santana nodded quickly before pulling him back in to a desperate kiss.

Santana’s legs were high around his hips and her hands roamed everywhere they could. It felt like she wanted to feel him everywhere and as if they were magnetized, Puck pushed him cock deep inside of her without breaking the kiss. He fucked her deep and slow, a pace unusual for them, but he didn’t want to rush, and it seemed like Santana didn’t either.

Puck was the first to break their kiss and when he pulled back Santana held on to his head, keeping him close as she stared up at him with big, dark eyes.

“I missed you.” She whispered and Puck felt his body flush.

“I missed you too Tana.” He leaned down and kissed her softly, this time not pulling back even as his hips sped up seemingly on their own.

Santana came not long after, her moans swallowed up by Puck and when he spurted inside of her, Santana clung to him.

They spend almost every day together after that, but neither talk about what happened at Rachel’s. On New Year’s Eve they kiss under the fireworks, not caring about the smug looks on their friends faces. Puck knew that something had shifted between them, what he didn’t know was what would happen when Santana went back to New York and he was going home to Los Angeles.

This time it’s Santana that’s seeing him of at the airport, she would be heading back with Rachel and Kurt in a couple of days.

“We have to be better at keeping in touch.” She says as she holds on to his hand, not ready to let him go yet.

“Definitely.” He doesn’t want to go, doesn’t want them to stop talking again, it had only been a few months but it was way more than he was ready for.

“I love you.” He says next, partly because he wanted to and partly because he knew that Santana needed to hear it.

“Please…” She looks sad and Puck stops her next words with a kiss because he knew that she wouldn’t say it back. She never had.

“I know.” He reassures her when he pulls back and Santana nods before burying her face in his chest and hugs him tight.

Santana texts him when she’s back in New York and Puck think it’s cute because she knows that he would check in to see if she got home okay anyways. He texts her back that they should Skype sometime that week and Santana agrees.

When Santana calls him a few days later he’s out with some friends and he’s a little drunk. He watches as her face shows on the screen and one of his friends asks if that’s his girlfriend from home and Puck has no idea what to answer. But because he’s drunk, he decides that asking would be a fucking great idea.

“San!” He yells into the phone as he makes his way out of the loud bar.

“You’re drunk Puckerman.” He can hear her smirk over the phone.

“I most definitely am.” He breathes in the fresh air once he’s outside and leans against the wall. “What’s up Tana?”

“Oh I just wanted to talk, but if you’re out that’s cool. Go back to the women and booze.” She teases but the words sober Puck right up. Well that certainly explains what they were. Nothing.

He shakes his head at his own stupidity, obviously they aren’t more than friends, Santana never wanted him as more.

“Yeah, there’s this really hot babe inside that’s been all over me all night.” He’s not lying and Santana should know that other girls wanted him.

“I’m sure.” She doesn’t sound teasing anymore but her tone is still light and even though Puck tries to hear any jealousy in his voice, he can’t.

“I’ll let you get back to it,” She says next “Bye Puckerman.” She hangs up before he has time to reply and Puck stands there trying to collect his thoughts before going back inside.

When Santana calls again a few days later he doesn’t respond, and he leaves her messages at read. He needed space.

It’s almost three weeks before they talk again and it’s not even supposed to happen. Finn had called while he was hanging out with Melissa, a friend from school and Santana snatched the phone away from him and suddenly Puck hears her voice again.

“Why are you being a dick?” Are the first words out of her mouth and Puck doesn’t know what to respond.

“Puck do you want some water?” Melissa asks from beside him as she gets up and Puck nods.

“Oh you’re busy with a girl, of course.” He hears Santana again and he gets annoyed.

“Why does it matter Santana?” He rubs the bridge of his nose.

“It doesn’t.” He’s pretty sure she’s lying “But you’ve been ignoring me for weeks.”

“Maybe because I don’t want to talk to you.” It comes out too fast and he regrets the words the moment they’re out, he can hear Santana’s sharp inhale.

She doesn’t say anything and before Puck knows it, Finn is back on the line.

“So about Mr Schue’s and Ms Pillsbury’s wedding…”

Puck barely listens as Finn rambles about best man duties.

He feels bad for about two days but his pride keeps him from calling her. Instead he parties, smokes and hooks up with every girl he can. Fucking Santana out of his system had worked before, maybe it would work again.

It didn’t.

It’s late when Puck wakes up by the sound of his phone buzzing. He groans as he reaches for the device, already knowing who it was before looking at the screen. They hadn’t talked in over a month.

“Hey Tana.” His voice sounds rough from sleep and he tries clearing his throat.

“Why didn’t you want me?” She sounds sad and drunk and Puck can only sigh.

“I did. You are the one that always pushed me away.” He hears her take a few deep breaths, trying to control her breathing.

“You only wanted me when you couldn’t have me.”

The words hurt and they’re unfair and he thinks Santana knows that, but it doesn’t stop him from getting angry.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” He clutches his phone even harder against his ear. “I’ve been here for you for _everything_ Santana, I’ve told you I love you and even though you’ve fucking broken my heart I’m still here for you.”

She doesn’t respond, but he can hear that she’s crying and he hates that all he wants is to hold her and make things okay.

“I’ll see you at the wedding.” He finally says, his frustration at her, himself, their situation apparent in his voice. Puck doesn’t wait for a response before he hangs up.

The wedding is anticipated by everyone except him. Puck had been dreading this day for weeks. He hadn’t talked to Santana since her drunken phone call and now he knew she would be there. He had missed her, whenever they fought in the past they always made up, but this in between feeling was something he hated.

He missed her more than ever, but at the same time just thinking about it made his insides hurt and now she’d be there. Santana in all her glory.

And holy shit did she look glorious. He saw her before she spotted him. She was wearing a red tight dress that was so _Santana_ but still suitable for a wedding. Her hair was down in soft curls and her plump lips were red and Puck wondered if she did this to get under his skin. He had always had a soft spot for Santana in red.

She had arrived with Quinn but the blonde quickly joined their friends once she realized that Santana was headed in his direction.

Puck prepared himself for the wrath of Santana, but secretly hoped that she wouldn’t cause a scene, not at their old teachers wedding of all places.

“Santana I…”

He was so taken back by the hug that the words died in his throat.

“I’m sorry. I’m a bitch okay.” She mumbled against the skin of his neck. “I don’t want to not talk to you.”

“I’m sorry too.” Is all he can say, because a Santana apology was as rare as a blue moon and he was honestly a little taken back.

They hugged for a long time, not breaking apart until Finn awkwardly cleared his throat to get their attention.

“We should head inside.” The tall man said before heading inside the church.

The wedding is beautiful and the heavy feeling that he’s been feeling for weeks is finally letting up. He caught himself staring at Santana a few times wondering if she even feels a fraction for him that he feels for her. And that’s when he decides that he needs to know. For his own sanity and for them. He needs to move on or be with her. This going back and forth is too exhausting for him.

At the reception Santana stays close to him the entire time, they dance and laugh and hang out with their friends. It’s nice getting to hang out with the Glee club again but his thoughts are mostly practicing what he’d say to her.

“What are you thinking about Puckerman?” Santana asks when they’re dancing close together as Finn and Rachel sing a duet. It’s late, most of the people have already gone home but everybody in the Glee club are still there since almost all of them have booked rooms at the hotel the reception is at.

“You look beautiful.” He tells her, it’s the truth after all. He grins when Santana tries to hide her smile but fails miserably.

“You wanna get out of here? I have a room.” She arches an eyebrow and Puck nods, quietly following her to the lobby before stopping her by tugging on her hand.

“Look Santana…” He starts, not really knowing if this is how he wants this conversation to go but he doesn’t let that deter him. He stares into her questioning eyes and pulls her closer. His hands naturally lands on the curve of her hips and his forehead press against hers for a moment as he just breathes her in.

“I can’t do this anymore Santana.” He says it quietly, but he knows that she’s listening, her brow furrowing slightly as she stares at him. “I love you; I always have. Through every high and every low, I’ve loved you.”

She doesn’t say anything, and Puck feels his heart sink. He feels stupid for getting his hopes up about her, about them.

“Puck I…” She stops like she doesn’t know what to say, her head down as she stares at the floor. When she looks up at him again her eyes are glassy. “I can’t.”

She starts to walk away, and Puck doesn’t even try to stop her, Santana’s words felt like a bullet to the chest, and he can’t do anything but watch her disappear through the entrance of the hotel and into the night

  
The next morning, Puck wakes up in his old room feeling nothing but defeat. He knew that he couldn't keep doing this to himself. Loving a girl that would never love him back.  
  
With a heavy groan he got up and headed to the kitchen to make his morning coffee. He stared at the machine as it seemed to take forever to finish. He couldn’t get Santana out of his mind, he had been in love with her for years but she had always refused him and he felt like his entire being was hurting.

Puck was so lost in his own thoughts that he barely heard the knock on his front door, but it was enough to get him to snap out of it. He headed to the door with heavy footsteps and when he opened it his breath caught in his lungs.

Santana stood there, still in the same dress as the night before, her chest heaving like she had been running and for a few seconds all they did was stare at each other.

Then she closed the distance between them and kissed him. When she pulled back she didn’t let go, her hands on his cheeks and body pressed against his and she smiled.  
  
"I love you too."


End file.
